So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
handjob tips. give me some.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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