Your face is a jimmy john
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
