Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
