At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Randomize