thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
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