I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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