soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
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