the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
