im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize