yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
