eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
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