It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
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