pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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