Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
