We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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