are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
