i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
