So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
