I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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