first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Also, beer. Big fan.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
