Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Randomize
