Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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