I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize
