I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
