Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
