You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
