I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize