I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
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i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize