Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
