i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
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