in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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