I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
