Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize