the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Randomize
