the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
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