my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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