I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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