But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize