like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Randomize