Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
