Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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