Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Randomize