47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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