this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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