Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize