Dual....:-)
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
