omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
My penis needs a shock collar
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
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