New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize