We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
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