i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize