she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
