yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
