I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
