Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
