Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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