only you would photoshop your dick
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
