I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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