went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
