you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Randomize
