I accidentally burped into my bong.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Sorry about my life...
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
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