and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
