i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize