so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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