the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Randomize
