Is it normal to miss your booty call?
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Randomize
